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... is that there's no way you could possibly be the one I'm missing a connection with, because what you posted is MY side of the story, not his. But oh how I wish it were the other way around, because if that was the way HE really felt, we wouldn't have to be apart.
Except in my case, it's how I've been left feeling... and HE is the one that did it to ME. NOT vice versa.
C'est la vie. Jamais encore.... Hélas, il m'a détruit, et jamais ce que je peux tomber en amour encore. Or as the other writer put it below, "everyday I suffer in silence, what felt so real, was just an illusion, a cruel joke on me for life."
So these words are for the one I loved who did me so cruel (who did NOT post here.)
You broke into the most sacred places inside me and took everything when you unceremoniously and entirely on a whim tossed me aside like I was nothing. I hope you know (not the writer below but the person I'm thinking of) that you completely destroyed the entire future for me, the life finally meant for me for which I'd fought and sought for a quarter of a century. You destroyed it. You wrecked the miracle that preceded and paved the way for it, and you eviscerated the entirety of its substance from me down to the core. The experience of living through what you did to me has not only ensured that I will never again be able to love and trust another human being at an intimate level, romantiy OR spiritually, but also that I can never trust the Maker and Giver of Life again either, knowing He knew all along how all this would turn out and threw me into it anyway, when I was so innocent, childlike and vulnerable and desiring nothing but simply to be in the heart and center of His will and His way. And what the hell you'll probably never even see this so I might as well go for broke and tell you, the one that was into all that stuff in the first place isn't here anymore. We think she eradicated/eliminated herself somehow sometime during the 2nd week of May or thereabouts. So congratulations on that, too -- you did what They tried to do for 25 years and could not do, you managed in one fell swoop. I hope you can live with yourself after this shit -- and yes that's sarcastic because anyone who could, who could so glibly and carelessly toy with not just someone else's heart but their entire sense of destiny and connection with the divine and fuck it all up on a mere stupid human whim like you did just plain doesn't deserve to feel anything but disgust at his own reflection in the mirror.
There, I said it.
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